


Through your sunshine and into your darkness

by noniebeanie



Series: What we're all running away from (Mini Series) [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bad attempt at angst, Blood, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups-centric, Fluff, Guns, Hansol and Jeonghan as Bros, I don't proofread I'm sorry, I'll just make it hurt a lil, I'm sorry but Seungcheol goes through a lot in this one, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, MinWon - Freeform, STREAM HOMERUN, Vernon Cutie, Vernon being a wise teenager, boss ? leader? Jeonghan, but I'm still writing this, don't read if uncomfortable, how do u tag, im bad at everything, jeongcheol - Freeform, knife, meanie, wanted to make someone dead but it would be a bit too much so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:40:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27121258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noniebeanie/pseuds/noniebeanie
Summary: For Yoon Jeonghan, the world has always been cruel, for him it was filled with hatred and violence hidden behind fake smiles people put up as bait to drag other people down in their misery.That was until he met Choi Seungcheol of course, the other was all smiles and laughs with everyone it was too real to be something that was used to drag you down in their misery, and that was when Jeonghan grew interested.orSeungcheol loved teaching, he loved making the kids smile and learn at the same time every time they walked inside their room, even if they were teenagers already, they would always love Seungcheol.But Yoon Jeonghan wasn't a teenager, nor was he his student, but his effect had been the same.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Series: What we're all running away from (Mini Series) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1981795
Comments: 7
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok ready to waste your time on this fic? I wasn't.

For Yoon Jeonghan, the world has always been cruel, for him it was filled with hatred and violence hidden behind fake smiles people put up as bait to drag other people down in their misery. 

That was until he met Choi Seungcheol of course, the other was all smiles and laughs with everyone it was too real to be something that was used to drag you down in their misery, and that was when Jeonghan grew interested. 

"Hyung, why do you insist on bringing me to school these days, aren't you busy?" Hansol, his brother asked, as they entered the car. 

"Well there's nothing to be busy about lately, why do you not want me to go with you?" Hansol just shakes his head and slides further down to the seat of the car as it started to move. 

"What if you get in trouble again? what if someone sees you?" Hansol's questions made Jeonghan's heart clench, ever since he entered this type of Job they weren't really able to go around freely without protection anymore, but it was the only way they could keep themselves alive, Hansol accepted that despite throwing away a normal childhood. 

"I won't get caught." 

Once they pulled over, Hansol sprinted out of the car and ran to his friends Seungkwan and Chan, Hansol wasn't really planning on making friends for the sake of his identity and the safety of the people around him but the energy his two friends had made him too happy and Jeonghan wasn't going to stop that. 

Jeonghan walks out of the car as well and looks around, and there he spotted a man his age wearing formal clothes while crouching down to talk to the children, a smile makes its way to his face as he walks over to him. 

"Seungcheollie~," He said as he stopped in front of him, Seungcheol looks up and his smile widens. 

"You better go to your classes now okay? Listen to your lessons." Seungcheol waved at the kid and stood up straight to face Jeonghan, "Mr. Yoon, is there anything I can do for you today?" 

"Hmm..." Jeonghan pretends to think, "Maybe you can finally agree to go out with me?" 

Seungcheol chuckles, and it made Jeonghan's stomach flutter with butterflies, it was a rare thing, of course, being the boss of a group who did things far more than teaching kids about the stars and rainbows, no. It was way deeper than that. 

"Don't you have any business to attend to today?" Seungcheol knew about it, how can he not? If Jeonghan was to remove the scarf around his neck, a single look at the flower on his skin would let people know who he really is. 

"The only thing on the Schedule today is you." 

"How about Hansol? Did he talk to you already?" Jeonghan furrows his eyebrows. 

"About what?" 

"About yesterday, some kids gathered and said words to him, I thought he was going to tell you about it," Seungcheol explained. 

"W-well... he didn't. I'll make sure to talk about it with him later, I'll move our date to dinner is that okay?" Seungcheol nods and pinches Jeonghan's cheeks. 

"Hey! don't do that I'm supposed to be scary," Jeonghan complains but doesn't move his hand away.

"I'm sorry but every day you come here looking so cute how are you supposed to be scary anymore." This time, Seungcheol gets a smack on his shoulder. 

"Go to your classes already." Jeonghan tells him, "I'll see your tonight." 

"Mhm, take care." 

\-----

As soon as Hansol came home that day, he was immediately told to meet his brother at his office, He walked upstairs with a frown, the day wasn't really good for him. 

"What?" He remained at the doorway. 

"Why didn't you tell me about yesterday?" Jeonghan asked immediately 

"It was nothing, I didn't get hurt." Hansol shrugged. 

"But you could have told me." 

"I didn't want to disturb you." 

"I'm your brot-" 

"It doesn't really seem like you are anymore!" Hansol cuts him off, which was unlikely of him but Jeonghan lets him, he could see the tiredness in the other's eyes, "You don't really spend time with me anymore and I don't get it because you say there's no more business to do but you're always gone. Always with Seungcheol." 

That takes him off guard, "You guys aren't hiding it, so why didn't you tell me? I'm your brother too." 

Jeonghan stands up and walks over to him, he puts his hands on Hansol's shoulders and pulled him close, "I'm sorry, Forgive hyung. I was just worried that you wouldn't like the idea of it." 

"You know I'll support you with anything, especially when it makes you happy." Jeonghan smiles at the Younger's words and presses a small kiss on the top of his head and pulled away. 

"So now, tell me about yesterday, did you fight back?" 

"No." 

"...Why?" Jeonghan was confused, Hansol's been here since he was 8 and its been five years since then, he would've picked up a thing or two.

"We're not really getting out of this kind of life, right? that means as long as we are, we'll spend the rest of our lives fighting, I don't want to start now." Hansol simply tells him, Jeonghan gives him a small smile in return. 

"Go on, you can go now." The boy immediately runs to his room, leaving Jeonghan in his office again, he texted Seungcheol about how it went and the other was more than happy to listen about how it went, Jeonghan's smile grew wider as they talked more until Mingyu came in. 

"Sir, there's a problem," Mingyu announced as soon as he entered, he barely calls Jeonghan so formally anymore but once the topic is serious, he does, just like now. "Three of our men were raided on their way from the airport, everyone's alive but they delivered a threat." 

"And that is?" 

"They were going to take you out of their way." Jeonghan laughs at it, five years in the business, it's the first time he received one. "What are we supposed to do?" 

"Make sure all of our men are here, we can't risk another attack again." Jeonghan started, "We should make someone guard the place at night, find out who sent the threat but we won't attack." 

"We won't?" Mingyu asks. 

"It's me who they're coming for, they'll take out anyone in their way if you go." 

"So we wait?" 

"Yes, Mingyu, we wait." 

\----

"Cheol, can you take Hansol to your place tomorrow after school?" Jeonghan asks as he takes a bite out of his food, "There's some...stuff going on and I just need you to take him for a day or two?" 

Seungcheol nods, he knew better than to ask more questions about what kind of business. "Of course, will he be okay with it though?" 

"of course he will." They shared a smile and let the music in the restaurant fill over the silence between them, they talked about work, school and plans they wanted to do, and yet again Seungcheol made Jeonghan's problems go away.

He wondered how the other could do it, he knew Suengcheol's story and it wasn't far from how his life went, they just picked different paths but still met halfway through them. Jeonghan was glad Seungcheol didn't end up where he did, instead, Seungcheol should stay where he was, happy, teaching kids who adore him, but can he do that with Jeonghan with him. 

"Hannie?" Seungcheol's voice pulls him out of his thoughts, "You spaced out, are you alright do you want to go home?" 

"No, I just-" Jeonghan's reassurance turned into a groan of pain, he knew the feeling on his back all too well, "Seungcheol, get down!" 

The other immediately followed what he was told to do, people around them were shuffling out and he could hear someone calling the police, Jeonghan put a hand on his bleeding back and pulled out his phone with his free one. 

He quickly dialed a number. "Jihoon? I need backup, I'm still where you left me earlier and... I need you to hurry there's people in here." 

There were no people on their floor anymore, everyone had rushed out leaving Seungcheol and Jeonghan alone. 

"Y-you're bleeding." Seungcheol moved closer to him on the floor, grabbing one of the table cloth and pressing it on Jeonghan's wound, letting the white soak in red blood. "How are you so calm?" 

"Five years in the business and two years as a pawn I think bullets are just an old friend," Jeonghan says, Seungcheol gave him an irritated look. 

"Unless they give your head a visit." Jeonghan was going to reply until a bunch of armed men came in. 

Jeonghan felt Seungcheol's fear beside him, he understood why because Seungcheol's path didn't prepare him for something like this, Seungcheol was afraid and yet he stood up and blocked Jeonghan from them, Jeonghan was going to reach for the gun behind his back until he saw the familiar pistol in Seungcheol's hand. 

"How may I help you?" Seungcheol asks, "I'm afraid you ruined date night." 

"Get out of the way and you'll be good to go." Jeonghan gritted his teeth, and Seungcheol, being all too selfless points a gun t the other, Jeonghan thought he'd never see the day Seungcheol would do such a thing. 

"Seungcheol, get out of the way," Jeonghan tells him. "Please give me my gun." 

Seungcheol wanted to, he wanted to run, he didn't even know how to shoot the gun in his hand, and yet he stood still, "Seungcheol, put the gun down." 

"Get him out of my way." The professor's blood ran cold, he could hear Jeonghan's voice threatening the men but what could they do? it was at least fifty men against two. 

Jeonghan tried to get up, managing to grab the gun Seungcheol had dropped when the others dragged him away, his whole back hurt but he pointed the gun at one of them and started to shoot. He began to breathe heavily when Seungcheol disappeared from his field of view. 

"What's our business with you anyways?" 

"September 18th, 2018. You killed my brother and continued to be a problem in our business." 

"That's it? Leave the poor man alone, he has classes tomorrow." 

The man chuckled combing his fingers through his black hair, "You know Mr. Yoon? we were going to kill you know but since you let us meet your little friend why not let you suffer a little more just like how what you did to me." 

"You won't manage to get away." As soon as he said those words his men managed to get in, Jeonghan sighed, they were a few minutes late. "Mingyu did you drive like a mom again?" 

"Sorry, sir." The taller one apologized as he brought the others down with ease, if Jeonghan wasn't injured, he would be more than happy to fight along, but their opponents were smart enough to give him a weak spot before attacking. 

Jeonghan's vision went blurry and the only thing he could make out was Minghao kneeling in front of him. 

But still no Seungcheol. 

\----

Seungcheol loved teaching, he loved making the kids smile and learn at the same time every time they walked inside their room, even if they were teenagers already, they would always love Seungcheol.

But Yoon Jeonghan wasn't a teenager, nor was he his student, but his effect had been the same. 

"So this is how your business works?" Seungcheol asked from his chair, he was tied up and had two men guarding him as if he would be stupid enough to try anything (well he did just point a gun at them earlier.) 

"Business is business but sometimes we just need to add a little bit more pain in it." One of them answered. 

"But why? Why not sell potatoes? make french fries and hash browns," Seungcheol sighed, "Fries makes people happy." He says, recalling what his student told him when they gave him fries for lunch on a gloomy day. 

He was hoping someone would save him but at the same time, he doesn't want anyone to get hurt because of him. 

"So this is the boyfriend?" Seungcheol looks up and meets a man in a suit if he was intimidating earlier, he was scarier now. "Have you ever been in pain?" 

"I hit my toe on my table every day at work." 

"Have you ever lost someone important in your life?" Yes, Seungcheol wanted to say he had lost his parents and left on the streets but this wasn't therapy, he wasn't talking to a friend either. 

"Does losing your lesson plan during a lecture count?" 

"You're a funny one Mr.Choi, and I'm sorry you had to be dragged through all of this but..." The man pulls out a knife, and Seungcheol squirmed in his seat. "I'll need to hurt you a tiny bit."


	2. Chapter 2

Jeonghan was worried, shaking even. It's been three days and still no sign about where Seungcheol might be, his back was slowly healing but Mingyu insisted that he stays behind while his men scouts for Seungcheol's whereabouts. 

"Anything new?" Jeonghan asks as Mingyu walks into his office, the other shakes his head. "Do you remember about September 18 at least two years ago?"

"of September? Well, the only major thing we did was we had a fight with that group who stole the money we had, normally we wouldn't care but it was for the Orphanage Hansol stayed in before you got him out of it." Mingyu recalls for him. "But then someone tried to shoot at us and you being the cool hyung you were back then managed to shoot first." 

"Are you saying I'm not cool anymore?" Jeonghan squints at him. 

"Well..." Mingyu gestures at where he was, and he knew he was referring to how he got shot so easily, Jeonghan threw a crumpled paper at him before continuing. 

"Well with that information I think I have at least an idea where he is." 

\----

Seungcheol wanted to give up. 

His face hurt, his stomach, his whole body actually did but at the moment, those were the only things he could feel. He wondered what Jeonghan had to go through, the younger had mentioned how he got caught a couple of times in the past and Seungcheol remembered how getting shot was a normal thing for Jeonghan. 

He closed his eyes, letting his whole body lay on the cold ground, the longer he stayed the more he didn't want anyone to come for him because he was afraid that they might go through the same. 

"Wake up." He felt a kick on his stomach as the voice echoed throughout the darkroom, a bowl of water was put on the ground, every day he's been getting bowls of water and that was it. 

He wondered what kind of anger they held for Jeonghan's group to be this cruel. 

Seungcheol sat up as the man left, he stared at the water for a moment and wondered how he got tied up in this kind of situation, then he remembered, Yoon Jeonghan. 

He loved Yoon Jeonghan, and he was going to wait for him. 

Normally he would be given water after their 'Boss' finishes hurting him, but he shuddered when the doors opened again to let in the man who angered him more than anything in the world. 

"Hello, what can I do for you today?" Seungcheol manages to gasp out as the man's hand wrapped around his throat. "I guess still the same?" 

"Your lover's been giving me a headache this day and I thought why not make you more useful?" Seungcheol's eyes widened as the man pulls out a knife, just by the look of it Seungcheol could feel the pain he was about to go through, the blade inched closer and closer to the skin of his shoulder until it cut deep enough to draw blood. 

Seuncheol closed his eyes, he couldn't do anything with all the pain he's feeling and the loose of oxygen began to make him dizzy, he felt himself struggle, kicking but not hitting anything at all. 

"You're lucky I'm kind enough to hurt you like this, or else we might be going through some more... unwanted stuff." Seungcheol shut his eyes as his words sent shivers throughout his body. 

"P-please... just..." Seungcheol chokes out.

"What was that?" The man whispered in his ear. 

"Kill me." He cried. "Stop it." 

Seep inside, Seungcheol questioned himself. Since when did he give up like this? he's been through so much and he's giving up because of this, he was slipping away. 

"Aw, on second thought. I think we should at least have a little fun before your boyfriend comes." 

\----

"Are you sure this is where he is?" Wonwoo asked Jeonghan as they arrived. 

"I am," Jeonghan says and walks out of the car with Wonwoo, their backup was standing by and will only come when needed as Jeonghan ordered them to. After two more weeks of confirming where Seungcheol is they finally tracked him down, and Jeonghan was farm more than ready to get him back. 

"Let's go."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here's another chapter because I get too excited to post.

Seungcheol stared at the wall, thinking about if Jeonghan would come for him. If he would still be alive the day he comes, because Seungcheol wasn't made for this, he wasn't the one trained for almost ten years to lead a whole group and fight. 

He was just Choi Seungcheol. 

The wall was cold against his back, the room was barely lit and the bowl of water and bread was still untouched. 

ever since that day, they started giving him things more than water, but Seungcheol never touched any of it, he didn't want to think about the reason he started getting it in the first place. 

When he started to hear noise from outside his door, he prepared himself, he didn't struggle anymore the people who came in were sometimes annoyed when he didn't, so they hurt him more. 

"Seungcheollie?" His head shot up at the nickname, and with the first look, Seungcheol almost cried, Jeonghan was here. "What did they do to you?"

Instead of answering, Seungcheol just stared at him, was he real? 

Even when Jeonghan kneeled in front of him, he just stared, he saw the other's lips moving but no sounds were coming out of it, maybe the hunger was getting to him. 

"I wish you were really here." He finally croaked out. "Get me out." 

"I'm here." Jeonghan quickly assured him, "It's your Hannie, I need you to get up for me, okay?" 

"I can't." 

"Why not? come on, I'll help you out." 

"It hurts." Seungcheol let a tear fall. 

"W-where? I'll get Mingyu to-"

"Everything," Seungcheol whispered. "Hannie are you really here?" 

Jeonghan shuddered, his breathing getting uncontrolled but he put himself together, he called out to his teammates. "Mingyu, I need you here." 

Jeonghan held Seungcheol's hand as they waited, Jeonghan immediately saw the difference in him, his hands were too cold, his eyes were too distant. 

Seungcheol didn't look happy when Jeonghan came in. 

For Seungcheol, everything was a blur when he felt himself being picked up, what he didn't know was that the whole time he was screaming in pain and even Mingyu himself broke down at the sight of it, the feeling of Seungcheol's hand clutching his shirt tightly made him wonder what they did to him. 

"Did you find him?" Jeonghan asked Mingyu, referring to Salvadore, the one who started all of this. 

"He's in the van." Mingyu simply said. "Jihoon knocked him out before he could even pull his gun out." 

"I knew he was nothing without his men." Jeonghan opened the doors of the van when they arrived to help Mingyu put Seungcheol inside before getting in, "Seungcheol, we're going home." 

\----

Seungcheol was passed out when they arrived, so he didn't have the same reaction from earlier, when Jeonghan laid him on the bed he stayed for a couple of minuted before pressing a kiss on his forehead, he got a good look on Seungcheol's neck and saw the bruises down to his chest, he pulled away and Mingyu; who was watching the whole scene, saw how Jeonghan's eyes darkened. 

He hasn't been like this for a long time, Mingyu thought to himself. 

"I'll let Minghao take care of his wounds, and try to see if anything's broken or his wounds are serious." Jeonghan commands him, "Get that son of a bitch ready." 

Mingyu nods before doing everything as he was told, he sighed to himself, knowing that the Salvadore guy wasn't going to stay breathing for very long. 

Jeonghan walks to the room a few moments later, and he smiled when he saw the man tied up on a chair. 

"Mr. Salvadore, I'm sure we can discuss everything now." He greets him with a calm voice, walking up to him and yanking his head up forcefully by the hair. "Now, our first subject would be what you did to my Cheollie." 

"I just made him hurt a little bit, why are you so sensitive Yoon Jeonghan? didn't you go through the same befo-" He cut himself as he screamed, Jeonghan dug the heel of his shoe to his foot, not caring if a crack was heard. "You should be thankful, I made him feel go-" 

This time, a hand smacked him across the face, Jeonghan pulled out his gun and didn't think twice before shooting him on his thigh. 

Salvadore's scream would be heard from miles away. 

"Thank you for sharing your side," Jeonghan says, panting heavily. "Jihoon, Seokmin please leave the room." 

The two immediately complied, not asking any more questions because when Jeonghan asks his men to leave him alone with someone in this certain room, Jeonghan would be the only one to come out alive. 

"Now, since Seungcheol isn't here to talk about his side, let me tell you a little story." Jeonghan grins at him. "Seungcheol has gone through worse than whatever you and I have when we were children, and yet he still chose a path than any of us in this business did."

A knife was suddenly jabbed against Salvadore's other thigh, Jeonghan continued talking through his screams. "Do you even understand how a person could survive that much trauma? and this stay..." 

Jeonghan began to pull out the knife slowly, letting the blood pool on the floor. "...Stay bright like sunshine? when everything that surrounded him brought him pain?" 

"Please... I didn't know. Let me go and I'll never get in your way again." Jeonghan glares at him, this time his anger was so visible in his eyes, Salvadore was suddenly hit by reality. 

of course, how could he fight Yoon Jeonghan. 

Foolish. Foolish. Foolish. 

"You're pleading? and you expect me to stop?" 

He nodded. 

"Did you stop when he asked you to? let me make this clear, he knew nothing about how this business ran, but did that matter to you?" Jeonghan's voice was shaking but it wasn't out of fear, it was due to the anger boiling in his blood. "Mr. Salvadore I was planning on playing with you more." 

Salvadore's breath hitched. 

This was Yoon Jeonghan. 

"But I think it's time for you to be dismissed." 

\----

Lee Jihoon sees Jeonghan walk out of the room, he doesn't say anything but the content in his boss's face says enough, If Jihoon was a newbie he would have passed out the moment Jeonghan looked at him. 

"How's Cheollie?" 

"Minghao just finished checking on him, he woke up and... started screaming but Mingyu immediately came in to calm him down. Now he's just zoning out." Jihoon explains, Jeonghan thanks him before walking to the room where Seungcheol was. 

Jihoon watches as the other enters the room with a smile as if he didn't just kill a man next door. 

It's Yoon Jeonghan, of course. 

The man that even the very head of the whole business feared. 

And then there was Choi Seungcheol, whose father used to be the feared one. But only Jihoon knew that. He was in charge of research after all. 

Jihoon was right when He came into Seungcheol's room. 

"Seungcheol." He called out to him, walking towards his bed and sitting down. "How are you feeling?" 

"Jeonghan I feel... disgusting," Seungcheol whispered out. 

Jeonghan reaches out to brush Seungcheol's hair but stopped when Seungcheol backed away from his touch, he drops his hand to his side. "How about I prepare you a bath? You can clean up by yourself is that good?" 

Seungcheol nods. 

"Okay then." Jeonghan leaves and walks inside the bathroom and Seungcheol was alone again. He didn't want a bath, he felt like it wouldn't be enough, he knew that whatever he'll do the memory of it won't ever leave him alone. 

The pain, the bruises, the thoughts will never let him be until he finally slips away for good. 

"Seungcheol, come on. You can get in now." Jeonghan gives him a soft smile. 

He was starting to forget that the memories aren't the only one leaving his side, that someone was willing to help him hold on. 

Seungcheol stands up and thanked him, Jeonghan gave him the privacy he needed and decided to leave the door slightly opened before walking out of the room, he went to the kitchen and tried to prepare something for Seungcheol even if he wasn't really the one to cook. 

"Hyung." A voice calls out to him, "Is Seungcheol back?" 

"Hansol, I didn't know you were home, and Yes I got him back." Not really, Jeonghan wanted to add. 

"Can I go to him? I'll keep my distance. No touching, I just want to see him." 

This kid really knows what to say. 

"Alright, help me bring his food to him." Hansol eagerly nodded in return, Hansol pointed out how Seungcheol liked his food, and Jeonghan was surprised at how the other probably knew more than he did, but he was thankful. 

They both walked up the stairs with Jeonghan holding the tray of food while Hansol held the glass of juice, they both walked into the room and Seungcheol was already dressed and sitting on the edge of his bed. 

He turned around and was shocked when he saw Hansol came in, but when Hansol flashed him a bright gummy smile, he let himself ease down, he thanked them both as Jeonghan placed the food on the bed beside him. 

He really didn't want to eat, he didn't know if he had the energy to, but Hansol was there, he wasn't going to let the kid down by letting himself be weak. And so he slowly ate the dish that was prepared for him, and the thought of having no energy to eat was slowly washed away, and tears started to gather in his eyes. 

"Hyung, don't cry." Hansol softly told him, "You're home now." 

"Don't worry, I'm happy," Seungcheol assured him, but a smile still didn't appear on his face. "How's school?" 

"W-well... we're doing okay." 

School ended a week ago, Hansol's summer break just started and Jeonghan knew that, but if it was the only topic Seungcheol was willing to talk about, then he'd be willing to let everything go back for at least a few weeks. 

Maybe he'd get his Seungcheol back as well. 

Maybe Seungcheol can get himself back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a few more chapters after this! Feedback would be nice bc I don't really proofread and write these chapters in the middle of an emotional crisis and my writing might turn out awful but I still think everyone who reads this fic! It means a lot and I hope I can make the story better.


	4. Chapter 4

Jeonghan put his hopes too high, he woke up in the middle of the night with Minghao banging on his door saying that Seungcheol got a nightmare, Jeonghan expected that the thoughts would follow him home but when he saw Seungcheol on the floor with bloodshot eyes clutching his blanket tightly, he looked like a kid who thought he saw monsters under his bed. 

And when Jeonghan reached out to touch him, he realized Seungcheol did see monsters. 

"Please don't come closer," Seungcheol mumbled. "Hannie, they'll hurt you too." 

"Seungcheol-"

"Just kill me." 

"Seungcheol." Jeonghan tried snapping him out of it again, raising his voice just a bit. 

Seungcheol continued muttering about how he should be dead, how no one should look for him and it boiled Jeonghan's blood. Seungcheol saw monsters, they hurt him and let his own monster grow from inside. 

They used Seungcheol's happiness to drag him down. 

"SEUNGCHEOL SNAP OUT OF IT." Jeonghan grabbed the other's shoulders, make him stop, Seungcheol's eyes widen. 

"Jeonghan that's too much!" Mingyu yelled from the door, he was about to stop him physically but a glare from Jeinghan was enough for him to retreat because a glare was enough for Mingyu to know that Jeonghan still had self-control and so he walked away to give them space. 

Seungcheol's eyes slowly looked down. "I'm sorry. Jeonghannie, I'm sorry." 

Jeonghan sighed, Seungcheol was an idiot. 

"I don't want them to hurt you." 

But Yoon Jeonghan was far more foolish. 

"So save yourself, even if my life's on the line. Don't think, don't say anything." 

Yoon Jeonghan wasn't someone people should fear.

"Save yourself because if you saved me I'd rather die as well." 

Yoon Jeonghan is a fool, a fool for thinking that the man in front of him wasn't his lover because, despite the broken image he has now, even if his smiles have disappeared, Choi Seungcheol always put the others first. 

"Yoon Jeonghan do you understand?" Seungcheol's voice cracked. "I don't want to be what my father failed to become." 

Jeonghan's blood ran cold, he didn't notice that his grip on Seungcheol's shoulders was tight enough to hurt until it finally loosened. "You know?"

"I ended up in an orphanage but the memory of strange men shooting your house down won't be hard to remember. And... Salvadore had stories." Jeonghan gritted his teeth at the mention of the name. "But even after all that I just thought about how you must've gone through worse when you were younger." 

No, you had it worse. Jeonghan wanted to say. 

"So I thought I should be strong until Jeonghan comes but I realized the reason I was there is for you to come for me, so they could hurt you. And after that, I'd rather be in that place forever. But I still stayed strong hmm? I tried. Because you're too loving and foolish to just leave me there and I knew that." Seungcheol finally gave him a soft smile, it was a painful one but seeing him smile made Jeonghan furrow his eyebrows to keep himself from crying. 

He's been called foolish before, he just called himself that earlier but loving? 

"You sound like a YA book, stop it." The corners of Jeonghan's lips twitched downwards, and Seungcheol opened his arms to give him a hug. "I hate how you and Hansol talk like that, I feel like a kid being scolded. And I should be the one comforting you." 

Jeonghan whined on Seungcheol's chest, he wrapped his arms around the older, happy that he can get to hug him properly again. "Well, sometimes I'm upset that you're much stronger than me even if I'm older-"

"-Just by a few months."

"-and you're so brave, how do you do that." 

"Shush, I'm still wondering how you can leave yourself behind for others."

"Well, you did all this for Hansol right?" Jeonghan thinks for a moment then nods, "Then stop wondering because you're already doing it." 

Jeonghan just sighs, they're still on the floor but for now, they weren't ready to move away from each other's touch yet. "What was your dream about." 

He felt Seungcheol's breathing shake. "It was terrible." He says but doesn't continue and Jeonghan doesn't push it

For now, Seungcheol's slowly recovering, it will be slow, but Jeonghan has patience, and he swears that he won't let anything stop this progress even if it will cost him his life. 

But will Seungcheol let him do that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I suck at writing


	5. Chapter 5

The following days were normal, Seungcheol was slowly recovering from everything and Jeonghan was there with every step he took. But what didn't change was the nightmares, creeping on Seungcheol every night, Jeonghan decided to sleep in the same room as him since then. 

"Cheol, I heard there's a teacher's gathering for the school. Do you want to go?" Jeonghan asks during Breakfast, Seungcheol freezes for a moment and Jeonghan wonders what he's thinking about. 

"Uhm... I'm..." Seungcheol starts, uneasiness clear in his voice. 

"You don't have to go I was just-" 

"No!" Seungcheol cuts him off. "I'll go! It's going to be.. a good thing for me?"

Jeonghan starts to think he shouldn't have brought the event up, he took Seungcheol's hand and pressed a kiss on it. "I don't want to make you feel like you need to do it." 

Seungcheol smiles at him, "No, no. I'm thankful you're not keeping things like this away from me, I don't want to feel trapped anymore." 

Trapped. So that's what Seungcheol's feeling, trapped inside his monsters and fears. 

"I love you." Jeonghan suddenly blurts out, Seungcheol's eyes widened in surprise for a moment. "You don't have to say it back." 

"I love you too, thank you for loving me Jeonghannie." 

"Get a room?" Hansol's voice suddenly echoed through the dining room, both of them looked at the teen and saw Jihoon beside him. "Just wanted to say I'm going to Seungkwan's, Jihoon's taking me there." 

"Alright then, take care? You know what to do if something bad happens right?" Hansol just nods, sighing before walking away with Jihoon. "I swear, that kid's mood goes up and down." 

"He's a teen, let him be." Seungcheol resumes eating his food, they continued to chat and everything was slowly falling into place. 

They finish up and Jeonghan picked their plates up to clean, his phone rang in his pocket as soon as he put the plates down in the sink, He takes a look at the caller ID and sighs when he sees who it is. 

"Yes, what do you need?" Seungcheol hears Jeonghan say, he watches as Jeonghan listened to whatever the other person in the call was saying, his frown deepening every second that passes.

"Again? can't you take on it by yourself?" Jeonghan scoffs, he looks at Seungcheol and meets his eyes, smiling at him before turning his back on him again. Seungcheol knew that it was probably about business, Jeonghan frowns when Mingyu talks to him about work, or when their dates are interrupted. 

"Jun." He hears Jeonghan sigh, "Tell the boss that I'm not the only minion he has in this business."

"Take Joshua back from America for all I care, I need to do something right now, I can't do any business yet." 

He goes silent for a few moments before saying "Yes, thank you." 

Jeonghan turns around again and Seungcheol whipped his head the other way, Seungcheol starts to worry that he was getting in the way of Jeonghan's business, so he needed to get better soon. 

"Cheol, want to watch some movies?" Jeonghan walks over to him and rests a hand on his shoulder, Jeonghan didn't miss how Seungcheol slightly flinched at his touch. 

"Jeonghan, am I keeping you away from doing your work?"

"No, no not at all." Jeonghan replies too quickly, "Whatever I'm doing right now is my choice, okay? now, do you want to watch some movies?"

"Sure." 

In the middle of the movie though, Seungcheol fell asleep beside Jeonghan, Jeonghan didn't mind, he knew how the other could barely fall asleep the past few days, but as he stared at Seungcheol's sleeping form his phone rang and he tried his best to answer quietly. 

"Yes?"

"Jeonghan, we need you here." His boss's voice greeted him.

"I already told you that I'm not your-"

"and if it's connected to Choi Seungcheol?" Jeonghan's breath hitched, "His father's here." 

Jeonghan didn't talk and started to listen, "He knows Seungcheol's with you, he wants him back... for something he didn't want to talk to me about, knowing him it's probably for inheritance." 

"But Seungcheol's not made for this and he knows that."

"Just bring him here, Jeonghan. Or he'll come to you and god knows what he'll do." 

His eyes shift back to the man resting beside him, "No, I'm not taking him anywhere." 

He ends the call without another word and lied down on Seungcheol's lap, turning off the TV and letting himself sleep as well.


	6. Chapter 6

"Cheol! you're here, we've been wondering where you've been and it's nice you're doing better now." One of his co-teachers greeted him as he walked inside the restaurant where they planned to meet up, he smiled at everyone around the table. 

"I'm sorry about my sudden disappearance." He apologized, even if it wasn't entirely his fault in reality. 

"Oh don't worry, your boyfriend informed us about it." 

He finally got to sit down on one of the chairs and everyone started to chat, he just listened, slowly getting overwhelmed by the crowd. He tried to keep up with them but his mind was filled with panic that he didn't even notice that the food arrived.

"Seungcheol, you should eat up. I noticed you look kind of skinnier, did you go on a diet?" Another teacher talked to him, Seungcheol's heart drummed in his chest as he remembers the events that happened a few weeks ago. 

"I... kind of." He replied shortly. He started to take small bites from his food and let his mind wander again, maybe he shouldn't have rushed himself into this, maybe he should have started with going on walks with Jeonghan, going on dates outside like they used to. 

But those brought back memories as well. 

"Cheol, what did you do during your break?" Another asked him. 

"Hiking?" 

"Probably got spoiled by your cute boyfriend, hmm?" 

"Oh, they probably went to the beach."

Now, how was Seungcheol supposed to respond to this? His mind wasn't functioning correctly to make up a story, should he go agree with hiking? That he got to spend time with Jeonghan? he didn't get to do those.

"Hey, are you okay?" A hand landed on his thigh and he snapped, letting out a yelp and covering his ears as his eyes shut close, his breathing got heavier, and he could feel his body trembling. 

He cursed at himself quietly, why was he being like this, why is being so vulnerable just because of simple questions?

"Cheollie?" He suddenly hears Jeonghan's voice, "Hey, come on open your eyes for me."

Seungcheol did, he expected it to be just his imagination but Jeonghan was really there, in the same clothes he wore when he dropped him off at the restaurant. 

did he stay?

"That's good, now hold my hands." Jeonghan offered his hands to him, and Seungcheol slowly took them, sighing as he felt the warm feeling of the other's hands, Seungcheol looked around and saw that they were in a bathroom now, why didn't he notice? did he black out?

"I had Mingyu watch over you, I was worried something was going to happen," Jeonghan started to explain, "When he called my I immediately went back, what happened?"

"I-I didn't get to go hiking" Seungcheol started, "I didn't get to go spend time with you, we didn't get to go on dates... Because I was-"

"Seungcheol, calm down you need to breathe." Jeonghan ran his fingers through the other's hair, trying to soothe him. 

Seungcheol did what he was told to do, even if his breaths were hard to control he tried because he already failed earlier, he didn't want to disappoint the man in front of him. 

"I'm sorry." 

"It's okay... It's okay." 

"I'm sorry I didn't get to spend time with you like you wanted." Jeonghan furrows his eyebrows at him. 

"L-last year.. you said you wanted to go somewhere during my next summer break, but we didn't get to do that." Jeonghan was stunned, he didn't even remember saying that, but of course, he knew Seungcheol remembers everything he tells him, even if it was an opinion on a movie or something he disliked. 

"That doesn't matter, we can still go, we'll go wherever you want to, hiking, shopping, abroad? sure." Jeonghan smiles at him, but he was serious about his plans, "We can go now if you want, we'll go home and pack our bags."

"That sounds like a rash decision, what about Hansol?"

"He'll be fine, I have a feeling he's starting to love Seungkwan and Jihoon more than me." They both chuckled at that, he was right, if Hansol wasn't with Seungkwan, he'd be with Jihoon at home. 

"So, what do you think?" Jeonghan asks again, Seungcheol nods at him and smiles.

That's how they ended up packing their bags, having a talk with Mingyu and JIhoon to take over for a few days, and they used one of Jeonghan's cars to go wherever they still didn't know where but Jeonghan had one thing in mind and that's to take Seungcheol far away for a while. 

Because Jeonghan talked with Seungcheol's father and the other was going to take his sunshine away from him.

Yoon Jeonghan knew their talk could've escalated into something a bit harsher, maybe if listened to the other's bullshit further he would have stabbed a knife in his shoulder but he knows that the whole time they were talking, a gun was pointed at his head, and one wrong move he would drop dead. 

"I just want my son."

"I'm pretty sure Seungcheol stopped being your son when you left him and his mother to die, you didn't even come back for him." Jeonghan scoffs, taking a few steps closer to the older man, "Seungcheol wasn't born to keep your business alive." 

"I want to protect him! I know what happened and I don't want it to happen again just because you-" He was cut off when Jeonghan pulls out his gun and points it at him. 

"Did you hear a word I just said?" Jeonghan's eye twitches, "You were the one who left him and his mother to die, it's your responsibility to keep your family safe and you failed it."

"And I assure you, Sir. I'll protect Seungcheol even if it costs my life."


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey, sunshine." Seuncheol felt Jeonghan's hand on his cheek as he opened his eyes, he looked around and saw that Jeonghan already parked somewhere. "We're here." 

"Where exactly is here?" Seungcheol sits up properly, it was already dark outside, he looked at the time and saw that it was almost 12 AM.

"I thought we should just stop over here for a while." Jeonghan explains, "Don't worry we're not lost." 

They brought their bags and walked into the hotel Jeonghan chose, it wasn't a cheap one, Jeonghan wouldn't settle for those. Jeonghan let Seungcheol do the talking, smiling a bit as he saw the other's confidence slowly building itself back together. 

Soon, they were guided to the room they'll be staying in. Jeonghan drops his whole body down on the king-sized bed and reached out for Seungcheol. "Lay beside me."

Seungcheol complied and sat down only to be pulled down, He looks up at Jeonghan and smiles. 

"I love you," Jeonghan tells him.

"Hmm." 

"Say it back." Jeonghan pouts.

"What if I don't want to?"

"I'll kiss you." Silence. 

Seungcheol waits with a grin on his face, but after a few minutes, he starts to grow impatient. "I thought you were going to give me a kiss." 

"I didn't say when." It was his turn to pout now, pushing himself up and looking at Jeonghan with the best puppy face he could do. Jeonghan immediately groans and looks away, "Jeonghan~" 

"That's not fair," Jeonghan says but Seungcheol just kept on sulking, Jeonghan finally looks at him and smiles. "c'mere." 

Seungcheol's pout stretches into a smile as he lowers himself down to capture Jeonghan's lips with his, Jeonghan immediately kisses back and leans towards Seungcheol more. Jeonghan sighs as he grows more engrossed at the feeling of Seungcheol's soft lips, warmth blossomed on Seungcheol's chest as Jeonghan pushed him back on the pillows. 

The kiss lasted for a few more minutes before they broke apart, breathing heavily, and Jeonghan chuckles at him, "Do you love me now?" 

"I think I need another kiss to answer." 

\----

they spent the night watching random shows on the hotel TV, they ordered food which was sent up to their room and they ate on the bed, just relaxing and forgetting everything they left back at home, it was 3 AM when Seungcheol fell asleep.

But Jeonghan couldn't sleep that night, he was too busy staring at Sungcheol, watching as the other's chest rises when he breathes, how he would slightly flinch from time to time as he sleeps. It was dark outside and yet all the light Jeonghan needs is just right in front of him, and he was afraid it would be taken away from him. 

"Seungcheol," he whispers to the sleeping figure. "I'll be here to protect you okay? so don't leave me, because I'm doing my best." 

Jeonghan continued to watch over him until the sunlight began to slip through the windows, Seungcheol's eyes flutters open, blinking a few times before his eyes settled on Jeonghan. 

"Good morning." Seungcheol gives him a lazy grin. 

"Good morning. did you sleep?" Seungcheol asks him and when the other didn't answer, he sighs, "You didn't?"

"I did." 

"Don't lie," Seungcheol sits up a bit before pulling Jeonghan close to his chest, "You can still get some sleep, it's still early."

"But-" 

"Shhh..." Seungcheol runs his fingers through Jeonghan's locks, "Just get some rest." 

Jeonghan sighs, letting his eyes shut close as he buries his face on Seungcheol's chest, perhaps he shouldn't think about things too much for a while, they were here to relax, and enjoy their time with each other. 

And so he lets himself sleep in his lover's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um, It's been a while since I wrote a kissing scene so I'm sorry if it sucks T-T I also apologize for the short chapter, I thank everyone who's still reading this fic, ily all!


	8. Chapter 8

Seungcheol flinches as he was shaken awake by Jeonghan. 

"Nightmare?" Jeonghan asks him gently. Seungcheol nods. 

"It... I just remembered stuff." Seungcheol looks away from the younger. He didn't want to let himself be vulnerable again after what happened at the gathering. He wiped away the tears around the corner of his eyes and looked back at Jeonghan with a smile. "Did you sleep alright? D-did I wake you up?" 

Jeonghan shakes his head at him, "I was awake for a couple of minutes already don't worry about it." 

Seungcheol just sighs and rests his head back on the pillows, "We should probably get going now?" 

"Hm, don't you want to get breakfast first?" Jeonghan offered as Seungcheol's stomach let out a soft growl. "I'll order something, what do you want?"

"Just some toast and eggs?" Jeonghan nodded before dialing the reception's number on the telephone on the nightstand. After he did, he turned around to look at Seungcheol with a grin. 

"What?"

"Where's my good morning kiss?" Jeonghan pouted at him, continuing to lean in closer. 

"Brush your teeth first." Seungcheol softly pushed him away with a laugh. Jeonghan unexpectedly complied. Standing up and disappeared into the bathroom, Seungcheol smiled as he watched Jeonghan re-appear with a toothbrush in his mouth and then disappearing again. 

Seungcheol was about to brush his teeth as well when a knock on the door echoed throughout the room, "Room service!" 

Seungcheol's worry washed away before opening the door, but as soon as he did a cold metal was pressed against his forehead. This was in no way a room service. 

"w-what do you want?" Seungcheol whispered.

"You must be Choi Seungcheol, you really do look beautiful that's why you were spared huh? it would be a waste to see a bullet go through your head. I think you'd be useful though..." The gun was pressed harder against his skin, Seungcheol's breath began to quicken. Tears gathering around his eyes but he didn't do anything that would make his chances for his brains to be brains blown out even higher.

"Seungcheol where-" Jeonghan emerged from the bathroom, as soon as he saw the scene he grabbed his gun from the top drawer. 

"Well, where the hell did you come from now?" Jeonghan asked as he pointed his gun at the man. 

"Oh, same place." The man scoffs at him, unfazed by the gun pointed at him. "A lot of them are gathering up now you know? just to wipe you away from this business." 

"Why don't they do it themselves?" Jeonghan suddenly fires and Seungcheol dropped to the ground, along with the man who has two bullets in his head and one in his chest. Seungcheol scrambled away from the body but was pulled away by Jeonghan, his back pressed against the wall and a hand on his thigh. 

"Shit- Should've aimed for his head first, does it hurt a lot?" Seungcheol stared at Jeonghan with confused eyes, then his eyes trailed down to his thigh, blood stained his pants and Jeonghan's hands. He finally started to feel the pain and held his breath. 

"I was shot?" Seungcheol gasped out. "I'm sorry I couldn't stop him, he was saying things and I couldn't move. Jeonghan I'm sorry."

"Seungcheol. Stop it. There was no way you could fight him, he was armed and you weren't." Seungcheol couldn't stop thinking about it though, it was the second time he got himself into trouble and couldn't do anything to protect himself, he could've stood up against that man but there was always something stopping him. 

"I'm going to call..." His thoughts and the pain muffled Jeonghan's voice, "... need you to stay awake.."

The words were too familiar. Maybe a few decades ago, when he and his mother were left to die in their own house. 

As he closed his eyes, Jeonghan looked at him with pain. 

Choi Seungcheol would never be safe. 

\-----

"Joshua, at least just for a month." Jeonghan sighed and rubbed his forehead. Seungcheol was currently recovering back in their house. 

"Jeonghan, you can't possibly trust me with Seungcheol."

"Why can't I?!" Jeonghan started to get frustrated. 

"Because you didn't even trust me with yours!" Jeonghan was frustrated but Joshua has been feeling the same thing at the other end of the line. 

Joshua's and Jeonghan's relationship was a complicated thing, at least that's what you could call it. Joshua was one of the first people he met in the business, they grew up together, trained together, killed together. But the conflict started when Jeonghan pushed Joshua away when he offered his help. When Jeonghan's life was in danger for the first time. 

"I don't fucking trust myself anymore. Every time I try, every time I keep him with me something bad always happens and I can't keep on watching that happen." Jeonghan says. "Please Shua just this once?"

"I'll get the jet ready by tomorrow."


End file.
